Sew-icidal

Two girls at work had just done a sewing course. They'd go to the pub first, after work, then spend two hours in an underground room with four other women and some sewing machines. It sounded like a sweat shop to me, albeit one in a beautiful, leafy street in north London.
After they'd been going a couple of weeks and emerging with big beams on their faces, initial curiosity about exactly what they were doing down in the bowels of the earth evolved into jealousy. A pin cushion? They'd made a pin cushion? Surely far more useful than the soufflee hat. Then a draw string bag, just like the ones we used to have for PE - ah the nostalgia. The cushion was the clincher. I've always had a fondness for a bit of a cushion. This one came with ribbon ties and an inside flap - how could I resist? Having already decided that a few lessons would stand me in far better stead than persevering in ignorance I emailed the lady running the course.
'Sorry, booked up for two months,' came the response. Whilst I'd been dallying around, the whole world had suddenly decided to learn to sew. Odd, given that five years ago it had been the preserve of seamstresses and old ladies and some, but not all, mums. Now it's back with a vengeance, although 'back', implying that it is a trend, a fashion that was 'in' once upon a time, is the wrong word; the reality is that this was a pastime born of necessity, something women had to do to clothe themselves and their families, not a hobby for modern-day city girls bored of yoga and wanting to reconnect with their roots.
I digress. Knowing that in two months my enthusiasm would have wilted, I thought about learning some basics from Mum. It was a lovely, romantic notion. She learnt from her mum, who in turn learnt from the formidable Meme, back in the misty pre-war days .
Sadly I knew my limited reserves of patience, and, in the interests of continuing that long and illustrious bloodline, thought it better to take my initial frustrations out on a stranger rather than my poor mother. I don't know if there's ever been a death by sewing machine - sewicide? - but certainly didn't want to be the first. Fortunately fate intervened.
'A place has opened up on the course starting next week, do you still want it...'